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GREG GUTFELD: There's no shortage of parasites out there living off the brains of others

"Gutfeld!" host Greg Gutfeld draws inspiration from RFK Jr.'s claim a worm once ate his brain to break down how "brain worms" are burrowing their way into America's culture.

As you probably heard, RFK Jr., claims that a worm once ate part of his brain. Lucky for him, he recovered. And lucky for the brain eating worm that he didn't pick Joe instead, or he would have starved to death. But this whole worm in your brain thing got me thinking that there's no shortage of parasites out there living off the brains of others.

The most obvious are the campus occupiers who have segued into ruining college graduation ceremonies across America. The worm in these heads of these kids sounds like a cross between Karl Marx and someone with even worse hair, Joy Reid. Which explains the united front among communists, anarchists, BLM, Antifa and the Hamas-holes. Also climate change hoaxers. Yep, we've seen Greta's new gig now, since the globe didn't burn up like she said. So how will she get her screen time? 

COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY STUDENT IN HANDCUFFS RIPS UP DIPLOMA ON COMMENCEMENT STAGE IN ACT OF PROTEST

But their common denominator is clear: We want to destroy the West and what we're going to offer you instead is far worse. To them, it's like replacing Jon Hamm with a ham. Here is video of Queers for Palestine, who have as much in common with Hamas as Kat does with members of Odor Eaters Anonymous, but the Queers for Palestine do have one thing in common with Hamas, irrational hate. They tried to stop traffic at Walt Disney World in Florida.

VIDEO

But they can't think they got a worm. Thankfully, Florida turned these Queers for Palestine into inmates for Palestine in minutes. Turns out you can arrest people blocking the road quickly if you arrest people for blocking the road quickly. And if these Queers for Palestine think that's bad, imagine what would happen if they ever met Hamas. Hamas loves to party with the LGBTQ community. First, they'll raise the roof. Then they throw them off it, but that's actual enforcement. Oh. Thank you. But that's actual enforcement without contemplating root causes. 

UNC CHAPEL HILL BOARD VOTES TO DISMANTLE DEI PROGRAMS, USE FUNDS ON CAMPUS POLICE AFTER ANTI-ISRAEL PROTESTS

Shouldn't civilization now be collapsing like Jerrold Nadler during a stress test? Up next, Canadian PM Justin Trudeau, whose country is pushing the online harms bill, which criminalizes what they call hate speech. What is hate speech in Canada, you ask? It's any speech that might make a protected group uncomfortable. If that net got any wider, it could catch Whoopi Goldberg's lunch. 

So, is this law retroactive? What if you tweeted problematic stuff that's still out there? What if you once shared a controversial video? Or what if you have an embarrassingly racist photo lying around and you happen to be prime minister of Canada? The law is vague, but what's scary is that if you are likely to re-offend, you could be locked up indefinitely going forward. All thanks to Trudeau, he is rapidly becoming our hemisphere's Kim Jong Un. 

Turns out the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, if your mom bangs Castro. And what if, as an American, you mocked or criticized a Canadian? Could you be extradited to Canada to face charges? Well, let's try it out on three, we're going to say: Hey Justin, you suck. One. Two. Three. Hey Justin, you suck! Congrats, everyone. You are now safer vacationing in Mexico. But think about it, could you go to jail in Canada for sharing a video about a certain Canadian shop teacher? Just for the record, that whole thing that wasn't me, that was all Kat's idea and Tyrus.

JEWISH STUDENTS ACROSS THE US BLAME DEI, FACULTY FOR ANTI-ISRAEL PROTESTS: 'WASTING MY TUITION DOLLARS'

TYRUS: ---- You, Greg.

Arrest the Black guy. That usually works.

TYRUS: Come get me.

And go easy on Kat, she's cold anywhere north of Honduras. Here's another clear example of a voracious brain worm that must be on its second helping by now, an Irish Eurovision contestant crying over the Israeli contestant advancing to the finals.

VIDEO

Who knew hemorrhoids could talk? Now, perhaps this creature was probably a nice girl long ago, raised by nice parents, but look at her now. She's got more hate in her than I do for "Fox & Friends." And now she's targeting a truly normal, healthy Israeli contestant for being, well, normal and healthy from Israel, but perhaps the biggest idiocy is that this moron thinks blind, ignorant antisemitism is punk. Sorry, it's not punk when the competition judges align with you. Nope, you're about as edgy as a stick of butter at room temperature or what Joy Behar calls breakfast. 

HILLARY CLINTON SLAMMED BY FELLOW DEMOCRAT FOR 'DISMISSIVE' REMARKS ABOUT ANTI-ISRAEL PROTESTERS

So as the brain worms continue to burrow their way into our culture and our kids, just remember they all have a common ancestor. You can call it progressivism or cultural Marxism, whatever it is, you got to ask, how did it get there? I mean, look who's acting crazy today and who isn't and that should tell you something. True, there are a few zanies on the right, but that bubbles up from below. This mass hysteria on the left is purely top down. It comes from professors, the media, the hard left organizations that have money and no scruples. This isn't QAnon, it's CNN, MSNBC, The Washington Post, Media Matters and the like. That's why we don't have the worm. They do.

They're getting it in their diet, but us, we don't eat that ----, but whatever you call the worms, parents better sit quietly, especially on campus or if you live in Canada. In the meantime, as the adults in the room, let's take a lesson from Florida and convey a simple message to these students, professors, and the media, and yes, the Canadian PM, for God's sakes, grow up! 

You and your worms are destroying the institutions that made the West the most successful civilization ever. And it won't stop there, because eventually every parasite kills its host. But who knows? By the looks of this lot, they're so inedible the worms might be looking for a better meal.

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